I was sat at a business network meeting a few weeks ago, scratching my head while the other businesses presented their pitch, wondering what to say about mine this week.  I fingered through my notes at things I’d said in past meetings and as I did I stumbled across the word ‘authentic’.  “Hmmm….Authentic!” I thought.  Could do something with that.
What makes people authentic is when their head and their hearts work together.  That means whatever they think or feel they find a way of expressing sincerely and with care.  Authentic people are a pleasure to be around because you get the feeling they are being real, genuine and prove themselves to be exactly what they appear to be.
Authentic people are in charge of their lives.  They understand what is their responsibility and what is the responsibility of others.  They sleep peacefully at night and have faith that they can only do their best and not more.  They accept themselves: that is their assets and their faults.
Alternatively, inauthentic people are those that worry too much what other people are thinking of them.  They alter their behaviour to suit others wishes before their own.  They are sticky like treacle as you try and establish whether they mean what they say or are just agreeing for the sake of it.  Despite all their intentions to be careful with other people’s feelings and to not want to harm anyone, inauthentic people become a responsibility, a liability and a potential source of dispute as they side step moral responsibility for many things.
If we were to draw a continuum where at the one end was ‘In Charge of my life’ and at the other end ‘Not in Charge of my life’, where would you place yourself?  When we experience ourselves subtly not in charge of our lives, we give off an energy that conveys vulnerability, victimhood, or childlike naivity.  Despite all external appearances, if we are coming from this small place in our lives, then we will probably be experiencing anxiety, fears, depression and frustrations and we may find ourselves ‘trapped’ in circumstances that appear to be out of our control.
In order to find ourselves and gain our centre, we have to move further along that continuum back to the ‘In Charge of My Life’ end.  And then we have to live the differences, not just think them.  Action makes behaviour patterns, thinking is another way of avoiding responsibility.
Take charge of your life today and give me a call.  If you’re a fellow professional, join my group of therapists who are becoming more and more authentic in their practices and who want to make sure that they are practicing what they are preaching.  Go to https://theopenmindtherapist.com/membership/ to find out more about joining me.