There was more than one element to my healing from schizophrenia which I’ll talk about in separate videos. But here is an explanation of just one of the facets to that journey back into our consensus reality. And it was about addressing my fear and learning to trust me.

 

 

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How do you clear the fear?

I’ll be talking over the next few days about how fear manifests in our lives and what kinds of problems it causes. I’ll also be talking about the insights and awarenesses you need to nurture to allow fear to dissolve and become more fully present and more fully alive.

Here’s video number 1

 

 

Join me on my clear the fear workshops for 2014.

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My Business Mentor’s a Gem!

I’ve been working with Holistic Business Mentor, Kimberley Lovell now since November and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. My biggest challenge is getting focussed and organised and Kimberley is helping me do just that. So last week I was really privileged to be interviewed by her on my progress so far. It’s been an exciting white knuckle ride of growth and expansion and I am thrilled to be able to share with you the transcript of the call. Sadly the call recording was very poor but we have salvaged a transcript from it. Click on the link below to download the PDF.

Transform Your Business Training Call With Kimberley Lovell Jenny Lynn(1)

 

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One of the most difficult things to get right is the ways in which we attract our ideal clients to us, especially as therapists. I’m guilty myself at times of not being able to see the wood for the trees, of not valuing effectively what I’m offering, not seeing the uniqueness of my approach, and not feeling comfortable standing out. The irony is of course, if I don’t stand out, no one will see me.

Here’s the problem

As I’ve been promoting my psychodrama workshops, I forget that many people won’t understand the term ‘psychodrama’.  As a result, I think my psychodrama workshops are scaring people! I think they see the term and they imagine they’ll be running around pretending to be teapots or the sun and doing some of that hammed up acting that you used to hate in school! You know the stuff I mean?

The truth is the way I do Psychodrama is nothing like this. It is an amazing process of gentle but highly insightful personal development. And whatsmore, on my psychodrama days, I don’t only use psychodrama. I use meditation, 5 rhythmns dance, movement, breathing, art work, gestalt and visualisation.  So is it right to call it psychodrama?

Can you help?

If you know what it is or have experienced one of my workshops, I’d like to invite you to get your creative juices flowing about what to call it. This is especially for those who have already taken part in them. Tell you what – just submit your comment below and let’s get this thing rolling! Yes, you can make bizarre suggestions if you want though anything offensive I won’t allow through. Have a bit of fun with it. You never know what might come of a stray suggestion.

A few ideas

A couple of my colleagues who work similarly call their workshops names such as: ‘transforming shadows’ and ‘when the body speaks, listen’. No two people produce the same courses. When you buy one of these courses, you are buying the person and the way they do their best work. The system is almost a seamless part of the trainer’s own flair and style.  What I’d love you to do is to give me some idea what to call the workshops. And for the winner, after a bit of discussion with you below, can have my 4 hour masterclass Assertiveness and confidence product as a gift. You can then gift or sell this to your clients! Or better still, a complimentary half hour session with me for me to offer you the same reflection and insight into your practice.  Now that’s an offer for just a few minutes of your time.  Deal?

 

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Mental and Emotional Roots of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Matt interviewed me on Tuesday 18th February 2014 about my work in Chronic Fatigue. Sign up for my preview call now which takes place on 6th March at 5pm GMT in the box below! I’m looking forward to sharing more with you. Or better still, if you need no more convincing, go straight over to the resources tab and click on 5 step audio ogramme!

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Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is such a polarising condition and is spectacularly mystifying for mainstream medicine. The mind and the body have become divorced over many decades of scientific enquiry, and we have become enchanted and indoctrinated by medical science’s status and authority over those years.  And this is to the point where, we almost dare not challenge them.

But this is exactly what I’ll be doing on my preview call Wednesday 6th March at 9am western and 5pm gmt. I’ll be exploring the inherent problem that divorcing the mind from the body has caused in this mystery condition and sharing with you an introduction to my 5 step Open Mind Method Audio Course for treating Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  

I’ve had several dozen patients with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome referred to me by medical doctors over the last 11-12 years. My first one came for pure relaxation and stress relief and was quite adamant that I would not be one of many who had tried in vain to treat her ME. I was grateful there was no pressure because I didn’t have a clue what ME was. But I owe her a debt of gratitude as she helped me to help her and many others. As I work very deeply and transpersonally, she unconsciously revealed to me what was causing her this mental, emotional, physical and spiritual shut down. And over the course of a few months we worked together to create profound relief for her. Then of course, the doctors went on to refer many more of their patients to me.

I researched and explored until I understood what was going on in as many different patients as possible. I then started training my colleagues. The rest, as they say, is history. 

On this call, I’ll be taking a risk and talking about what kind of profound psychological traps sufferers get caught up in once they have developed CFS.  I’ll look at some of the deeper, even spiritual, causes, and I’ll outline the 5 steps that I teach on my Audio course so that you can develop the confidence to know where to start with each of your clients that present with CFS.

Here are some facts, as modern medicine identifies them, I researched from the quoted websites as detailed below:

  • CFS/ME affects more than 1 million (www.cdc.gov/cfs) people in the US and over 300,000 in the UK. Some estimates take the figure even higher to 4 million in the US (www.fm-cfs.ca)
  • A study in Wichita, Kansas showed on average the illness lasts 7 years.
  • CFS is 5 times more common than AIDS, twice as common as MS (www.fm-cfs.ca) and more common than lung cancer
  • White Caucasian women are 4 times more likely than men to develop CFS/ME.

These statistics are quite alarming, especially when mainstream medicine still really doesn’t have much insight into the mind-body phenomenon, nor the spiritual wisdom, that could really offer so much solace and inspiration for people to recover.

The training I am offering digs really deep into the psyche of those with CFS – one of the most challenging modern illnesses to treat – and equips you with a highly insightful overview of what is going on with the Mind/Body dilemma. It then offers a method of reaching into the hearts and minds of those with CFS to help them regain their livelihoods and wellbeing. And, if you can do it with those with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, believe me, you can see in to the internal conflicts that cause far lesser conditions.

And if you were thinking of niche-ing in this speciality, as yet, there are still a growing number of people developing this condition. They will need YOU to offer them the inspiration to help them recover. In return, you will get the satisfaction of knowing that your work is profoundly affecting lives for the positive, where most medical approaches fail.

I can’t wait to share with you a few tips and insights to get you started and to invite you to join me on my 6 week audio training in the 5 Step method for treating Chronic Fatigue Syndrome! Sign up below for the call details. 

 

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Message in a Bottle from 26 Years ago – The Lost Months

I discovered just 2 weeks ago that I’d had an intimate relationship with a beautiful Indian man when I was a 23 year old student during 4 months of my lead in to my schizophrenia that I had forgotten about. Forgotten about? Yes. Honestly. I had entirely repressed the memory of this very close, warm and caring relationship that I’d had with this fellow student of mine.

Me August 1987 just weeks after being released from Hospital.

We lived in the same flat as flat mates – nothing particularly unusual about that. The 60’s had paved the way for mixed living arrangements among students, not that we were remotely aware of that fact at the time. By the 80’s many students, including myself, were in and out of relationships throughout our years at University and there was nothing unusual about that either.

What made this relationship stand out from any other was that it took place when I was revving up for a full blown schizophrenic outburst, and the level of concern and love that this person shared with me, and continues to have for me 26 years after the event.

It was Saturday night 3 weekends ago that I’d met him for the first time in all those years. Part of me wondered how we would fill a whole evening talking about college in our final year when we’d been fairly remote friends. It wasn’t until late in the evening that he dropped the bombshell, knowing only too well from the responses I’d made to him that very night, that I had completely forgotten about our relationship. I would say I’d not only forgotten, but completely encoded the whole experience in a non cognitive way. No matter how hard I tried, I could not consciously remember the events of that relationship. Momentarily, I wondered if there was some reason he had made up the whole story – I even asked him. Of course not. I have been working with energy for years – I could feel the energy that was running around him. I felt suddenly exposed, vulnerable. I knew he had knowledge of me that I hadn’t realised. It made me feel foolish that I had been behaving all night, and indeed, since I first looked him up in January this year, as though we’d been just flat mates.  He was kind, I realised, for not reacting in any undue way to my apparent blankness. He knew from his own experience of a family member with schizophrenia, that it often robs people of their memories. He had felt responsible for my schizophrenia, wondering if there had been something he could have done to halt it or something he shouldn’t have done that caused it.

I can’t tell you how blown away I have been by this revelation and how highly I value this wonderful human being. And slowly the memory is returning. But it is coming back in feelings and pictures, like the impressions you are left with from your earliest childhood memories.  And it is bringing up for me all manner of insights and confirmation of ideas and theories that I’ve studied these last 2 years since coming out about my schizophrenia.  Perhaps now I can sew together a tapestry of experience, theory and spirituality to offer to the world to help others, and not least of all the professionals who treat this so called ‘condition’, to come through this challenge and recover as I did.

My debt of gratitude to this person is deep. I have been so humbled at the sacrifice he made to try and keep me safe when I was on a downward slope and so sad that he might have felt guilty or responsible for the so called schizophrenia I went through. And I feel sad, that despite his deep connection with me over the 4 months we were together, the circumstances of our lives dictated that we should not see or hear from each other for more than 26 years after the event.

Experiences of this magnitude are the stuff of movies. They just don’t happen very often. I’m compelled to meet with him and go over every detail he can possibly remember, to reacquaint myself with him and with the young woman that I was all those years ago. I’m stuck in the movie as it unfolds. I don’t know whether we are at the end of it, in the middle or at the beginning. It’s so tempting to cast a shimmer over the experience and immortalise it as in the romantic legend of yesteryear – the stuff of novels and screen plays that tells a very unusual story that, at this point, I have only my senses to remember by.

However, one thing I do know is that I have reclaimed a part of myself that has been lost to me for 26 years. I feel more complete, more peaceful and more beautiful than ever before. If someone got so close to me when I was at my most vulnerable in life, mask-less and childlike, what else can there be to fear? You see, this is the stuff of transformation. Seeking out my schizophrenic story so that I can share the transformation with the world has been my purpose at this stage in my life. I’m deeply privileged to be the guardian of this story. And so that I can preserve it for others to know I have started writing a book about it. I have already written 11,000 words and it is a compelling exercise. It’s easy to write which means I am highly aligned with it. At last!  Cheer me on? I have a lot to explore and a lot more writing to do. Stay tuned for more updates.

If you want me to talk for your organisation, group or enterprise on transforming adversity, championing the uniqueness of each individual or developing a signature work that pulls from your unique life experiences, email me and let’s have a chat.

 

 

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I have long championed the idea that if we are to be therapists and healers, we need to be healed or on a path to our own healing. The talk I gave at the James Braid Society at the end of November highlighted how we are so much more than the techniques we offer or the theories we have studied.  In fact, I would go further and say it is who we are that even makes any of our technique-ing work. All of those wonderfully painful and cleansing life experiences that we have passed through are the very fuel that will make us amazing healers and therapists.  If we at any stage, believe there is nothing else to heal and we are still working in this intangible field of the mental, emotional and spiritual healing of others, I believe we have lost the light of enquiry and the spark of our mission.

We are Leaders

As leaders of personal well-being, we owe it to ourselves, our families and our clients, to be in the vanguard of personal development. And what a fantastic privilege to be in this position. What an amazing and wonderful thing to be able to do: to work on ourselves, clear out our own stuff, gain insight and wisdom and peace of mind, and to absolutely know that, that alone, will offer our clients the best chance of recovery from their malaises. Watch, no techniques!

As we vibrate at a higher frequency so we will implore our clients, our families, our friends to match us. All we have to do is dedicate and devote ourselves to our own development. This dedication is paradoxically the most self-less process you will ever put yourself through. As you free yourself from the shackles of your family patterns and step fully into your power, your mere presence will give others permission to do the same.  This is mentorship: leadership at its most inspiring.

How do you ensure you are doing that?

You need to seek like minded people, or people who are just ahead of you and you feel instinctively good with. You need to seek out people who will challenge you and inspire you to grow and develop.  You need to adopt a fearless attitude to your own histories and forgive what cannot be changed and step into the here and now with courage and mission.  You need to feel resonance with others with who you are.  Feel, not think.  This seismic shift in consciousness will change the way you ‘do’ life and your clients over night. What you thought was impossible will just fall into your lap. And the reason for that is because you are living YOUR life courageously and not waiting for the route map to ensure that your every step forward is a safe one. 

I know for me I am on another seismic shift in consciousness that I will share with you over the coming weeks.  My mentor is helping me break out of my limitations so that I can better serve not only my colleagues but my clients, my family and of course, me!

If you think I can help you find your mission and purpose, email me and let’s set up a dialogue. Or if you’re feeling particularly brave, leap straight in and join me on my psychodrama day in January.

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How I dissolved breast lump as big as a golf ball

I’ve been with my lovely guy for around 3 and a half years. The reason I mention this is because 3 and a half years ago, I had a small but growing breast lump in my left breast.  It had been there a number of years and seemed to swell and then subside with my cycle but one thing was for sure, it was never not there.  In fact, I remember it clearly, because in the first flush of love with my man I was conscious of it, and even more so since he is a doctor.

He ‘examined’ me – a rather pleasant experience I confess – and said initially what most doctors have said ‘I’m sure it’s hormonal and nothing to worry about’.  Now, it’s not my style to take a ‘diagnosis’ or ‘prognosis’ too seriously.  I’ve experienced first hand, many instances of healing as a result of a profound shift of consciousness, a process of forgiveness, or just plain healthy living and being true to myself.  However, being conscious of the big ‘C’ I was aware that I probably needed to do something about it.

I ignored my growing breast lump

But I didn’t.  I left it and left it and it grew and it ached. Occasionally it would shoot pains into my chest and I ignored it.  Move on one year and my lovely medical man was starting to panic.  When I raised my arms and faced the mirror, you could see a small bulge sticking out to the side of my left breast. Palpating it revealed a lump almost the size of a golf ball.  I became inwardly fearful and silent. We argued – well, it was more debated. He said I must get it looked at: have a breast scan or a biopsy.  I’d done enough research over the years to have suspended any trust in the medical profession’s ability to treat anything other than symptoms and was adamantly reluctant to conform. I managed to delay doing anything, denying that it was any big deal and yet nevertheless, feeling for it every day.

I remember it was September 2  years ago in 2011 that I suddenly got real and realised I had to do something.  We had eventually had a defining argument where he asked what I would do if I had cancer and it had progressed to the lungs – his speciality – which he claims is nearly always terminal.  I said, I would decline any treatment for at least a month while I worked on it my way.  As I heard myself say those words I realised I had to do it or allow myself to be subject to the medical route which for me was undesirable in extremis. Please also bear in mind as you read this that I didn’t know what I had growing in my breast.

I sat with the fear

I braced myself and sat down to chant – a practice that I have conducted most mornings for over half of my life.  I sat with the fear.  I could feel the resistance to having to ask myself THE most difficult questions and then, worse, sitting and listening to the answers.  And the first question that came up of course is ‘What if I die?  Your life flashes in front of you and you think of all the regrets, losses and sadnesses that you’ve allowed in your life.  You think of having to leave your child and her having to find her own way in the world without you.  And you wonder if the work you’ve yet to do or the knowledge you’ve yet to share will be lost with you.

My next thought was that doctors say that breast cancer is very treatable but it still involves surgery and chemotherapy which I wanted to avoid at any cost.  I examined why that was. What arrogance was there in me that I would not let them touch me?  Another reflection followed.  I peeled back the layers on that thought and looked at what made me, in particular, so resistant to modern medical intervention and was I being foolish to think that.

The faith to heal

I combed back through my lifetime of suffering and healing, both spiritual and physical wounds.  I reflected on my schizophrenia and how I recovered from that and what awarenesses were brought into focus because of that experience. One significant realisation was the need to express my frustrations, fears and anxieties more fully so that I didn’t create a spiritual pressure cooker that threatened to be uncontainable in the form of schizophrenia.  I reflected on a transformative time at 29 when I went through a process of profound forgiveness and healed myself of psoriasis.   I reflected on my daughter’s birth experience where I nearly lost my life and the tenacity I had to survive. Despite the fact I had next to no blood left in my veins at one stage of the crisis, I had no intention of not being there for her. And I reflected on another phase aged 39 when I eventually found an unshakeable core which enabled me to drop so much of my past and forgive myself allowing me to come into the here and now and live forwards not backwards. At this stage I healed myself of a very uncomfortable period of IBS.

My conclusion was, I was not being foolish nor arrogant.  I knew I had the power to heal.  I knew I would need some humility if my past experiences were anything to go by.  However, the question was still how. By what inner and outer process was I going to create health in my body?  So I continued researching online and reading about diet. I have always believed that along with correct thinking and authentic feeling, we can do a lot to support our bodies by putting the right foods into it for optimum health.  I had, over the years, done so much research into cancer and diet and alternative treatments that I knew exactly where to start.  I knew raw fruit and vegetables and juicing was as good a place to start as any but I was under no illusions that food alone was going to correct me.  Until I had flushed out my need to develop breast lumps I was going to keep creating that reality regardless of what I ate.  However, I studied the power of food anew.  I looked at the Gerson diet, German New Medicine, Hoxley, Renee Caisse, along with some modern writers and thinkers.

I changed my diet

I drank green tea, ate chickpeas, raw cauliflower and broccoli, got rid of meat and dairy, ate more raw fruit and vegetables and supplemented with powerful antioxidants. It wasn’t difficult to do. I’ve always been a health through food freak knowing that we would all be one helluva lot healthier spiritually and physically as a nation if we just became mindful of what we put into our mouths.  And this is where some of my corruscating cynicism comes around big pharma and the food industry.  I often feel like we have been hypnotised by modern culture to believe in something that is inherently dangerous and counter intuitive.  I see my work as being about waking up from mass hypnosis so that we can live our own real and authentically meaningful lives.

But my authentic life at that stage was still very much in need of re-evaluation.  I was still living my fear of dying.  As I chanted each day, I prayed to just to be present, have insight and understand what it was I needed to know about me.  During this process I realised that my breast lump, being on my left hand side, was on my ‘feminine’ side. Eastern philosophies consider our right hand side to be masculine and our left feminine.  Why was my feminine side being affected?  And then, when I came to think about it, all my injuries and pains happened on my left hand side.  I’d had over the years a bad back on my left, ovarian infection on my left, groin strain, broken arm, and a whole host of stuff going on on my left hand side with very little happening on my right. I wondered if my femininity was suffering and I reflected deeply on how and why that might be a truth.

Outer versus inner strength

I saw myself over most of my life being very strong, and in particular, being exceptionally strong for my daughter.  Running my own business while raising my daughter both loving being a mum and resenting the loss of autonomy and yet knowing I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Inner conflict and frustration and desire to succeed all being mixed into trying to be all things to all people.  Then I reflected on having also struggled with her father over many years through court which lead me into the realisation I had at age 39.  This awakening itself had made me incredibly resourceful and less reliant on a poor me story but somehow the strength had stayed but the forgiveness had become stale.  I hadn’t fully realised that the process of forgiveness needs really to be a constant in our lives so that we are clearing out old wounds and hurts that cause nobody but ourselves harm.

I looked at my work and where I was gaining inspiration or pleasure from and I realised that it had become a burden.  I was struggling inside to achieve my goals and in so doing was creating an awful lot of masculine, directive energy about me.  And this directive energy was spilling over into my personal life. I was running my life like it was a bootcamp.  People would often say to me, ‘gosh Jenny, you’re so busy. How do you find the time to do everything you do?’.  People would, and still do to some extent, say to me they were sorry to bother me because they knew I was very busy.  I remember thinking, what do you mean? Me? Busy? I’m just getting on with my life. I’m not exceptionally busy. Why do people defer to me like that?  It irritated me and actually made me feel guilty I wasn’t doing more to justify their impression of me!

Masculine versus Feminine energy

So now, I was realising that I had a lot of masculine energy around me and that the feminine in me was indeed suffering.  She wasn’t being nurtured or heard or loved in the way that she needed.  She wasn’t allowing herself or others to honour her and she was really suffering. I cried for her because I realised that I had allowed her to be unseen, unheard, and unnoticed.  She had slipped under the masculine radar, believing that being effective in the world was a masculine pursuit that required masculine values fearing that the feminine would never be taken seriously.  And if that were the case, all her work would amount to nothing.  Her drive to be taken seriously was overshadowing her need to be her true feminine self.  These were deeply subconscious fears that my reflection was starting to flush out and it was painful.  I had myself, dismissed and denied the beauty of the feminine energy that, by dint of the fact I am a woman, I was probably naturally endowed with and was instead favouring my masculine side.

Meanwhile, to  the outside world, all others were witnessing was me being out there, seen, heard and noticed.  I’d done a good job at least, of making a lot of noise.  However, inside, I knew I wasn’t allowing this to reflect my deeper self. I wasn’t creating enough energetic opening to allow an exchange to flow between me and the world.  I was holding on to it all, being strong, being all things to all people because the alternative, I perceived, just wasn’t an option.

So I asked myself what would my life be like if I embraced the feminine and worked with her instead of against her? I asked myself what would happen if I ran my business more harmoniously and with less focus on success and more on fulfilment?  And I wondered how I could rebalance my life and bring my home life into a more spiritually central position so that I was also honouring my daughter and partner more.  In allowing these thoughts in, I started exercising my mind to consider alternatives to the underlying discomfort of running my life too aggressively.  I realised that I needed to balance myself and live more in the here and now, be more spontaneous, unpredictable, more open and receptive.  So I had to lose something to allow this to develop.

What did I need to lose? What was it that was holding me captive in these masculine values? It was fear. I was afraid. I was afraid that if I let it all go it would fall apart.  I was afraid that if that happened I would cease to thrive; cease to thrive, cease to live. Cease to live?  That means I would die.  You see, I realise now that our fears: all our fears, lead inexorably to an existential question. And that is, if I’m not doing everything I’ve always done – which I’ve deemed as absolutely necessary for my survival – then I will die.  Once I saw this deep fear of dying, I asked myself one final question.

“What if I weren’t afraid of dying?”

The moment I asked myself that question it was as if the sun came out.  If I weren’t afraid of dying I would do anything I liked. I would be more creative, I would be happier, I would attach less to things I thought I needed because I wouldn’t fear their loss. I would in effect liberate myself from having to suffer. So then I considered, what if I weren’t afraid of this lump in my breast? As I thought that thought I realised it could have no power over me. I could actively choose to not be afraid of it and to embrace my whole life as it happened.  I’d turned the corner. My life came into sharp focus and a bit like a scene in a movie, there was a zoom in shot of focussed insight that coursed through my very core.

I chanted with whole hearted appreciation for the insight I’d gained from having the tenacity to stay with the most difficult questions and hear the answers.  I chanted with hope and renewed connection to the vibration of the sound and its reverberation through my body. I knew that the lump would dissolve and go.

By christmas it was pea sized and reducing every week. And now as I sit at my desk writing this article and groping my left breast intermittently, I can honestly say my breast is completely lump free – the first time in many, many years.

I do not know what the lump was. I never received a diagnosis. But I am eternally grateful to it for having shown me how I can improve my life and my experience on this earth. And I hope in sharing it with you that you can find your own answers to your greatest challenges by having the courage to stay with the questions, hear the answers and then to take action.

Want to work with me? Can I help you confront your performance anxieties and fears in your personal or professional life? Email me and let’s set up a skype chat.

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I’m 50 this year though I can hardly imagine where all the years have gone.  And as I plan my half century celebration and speak to friends going back decades, it seems only yesterday that I was a teenager flailing against the world and seeking something more substantial than what was on offer. As a woman in our modern western society, I have been incredibly fortunate to have been born in our time, to have been able to explore my spirituality and my psyche and to be able to lead and inspire others to realise their true selves too.

What does success mean to the feminine?

However, despite all this I am still only a woman.  To use a cliche I am a woman in a man’s world.  I am a woman surrounded by masculine values to be strong, directive, driven, serious about my career,  clinical, academic, studious, hardworking, aggressive, financially motivated and incentivised, and at the end of the day to have a kind of success that is measured in numbers not in value.  Lynne Twist in her book, ‘The Soul of Money’ talks about powerful executive women who have lost their very connection to their feminine energy because they have adopted the more aggressive and directional values of big business which they describe as a painful sacrifice.  I’ve felt increasingly rebellious about this state of affairs.  I’ve felt really quite indignant that these values, that aren’t mine at all, are ones that would indicate to the world at large that I am ‘successful’.  I even realised at one stage a couple of years ago, that adopting these values was actually causing me harm.  I will dedicate an article to my experience of that time soon where I had a large lump in my left breast and some deep reflection and personal work revealed that I wasn’t honouring the woman in me and was straining myself with too much responsibility and fear about failure so I consciously chose to drop those values.  The lump dissolved. However, if I choose not to go along with these values, I have to review what I’m doing with my life and what creates a sense of success, fulfillment and happiness for me and perhaps for many of us who are in the caring professions.

And this leads me to review what I mean by success.  Because what it means out there, to the outside world, may not be the same thing.  The problem is, the minute I start defining success for me in my life, I stand apart and alone. And I find myself moving ever more into my feminine energy to really get a measure of just who I am as a woman in this incredibly masculine value dominated world.

The Nature of the Feminine

As I enter the third age of woman hood – from child, to child-bearer, to wise woman I find myself relaxing and realising that I have a great inherent gift that is my femininity.  It is connected to the seasons, it ebbs and flows with the moods of nature, and it is inherently both nurturing and destructive.  It is forever in alignment with the planet, its expression a natural untameable fact of life.

The Valuing of the Masculine

And yet in the past I, and so many of us, men and women alike, have continued to hide it in favour of the more dominant achievement based values that have infected the whole world.  We have ourselves degraded and devalued our power and wisdom by believing that the masculine directional, scientific, achievement based culture is what is the most valuable of all.  We flock to these values and compete with the masculine on its own terms further enforcing the polarity between the masculine and the feminine.  We eschew women who cannot demonstrate themselves to be competent and successful in a masculine world. We have become isolated as woman in individual houses, with our individual families, with our individual money and sense of territoriality.  We are divided. And we have allowed ourselves to be ruled.

As I work on the most tragic case I’ve ever come across of a woman and the forced adoption of her children by the state on grounds of a spurious personality disorder diagnosis, I realise that woman is also subject to the masculine values of the state:  that achievement here again is about successful placement of children for adoption and most definitely not, the more creative, sentient and nurturing side of being a woman and a mother.  That no time, space nor money is offered to promote the beauty of the natural bond between mother and child, is tragic and I weep not just for her, but for women worldwide who have lost children through death, adoption or murder – and usually from masculine driven directives.  Whether it be modern medicine or warfare, adoption or kidnapping, it would appear that the uninitiated masculine in these realms fears its own vulnerability, is anxious about its standing, is eager to tame the external in some kind of obsessive drive to tame the wild feminine that makes up the other, less predictable and more moody, half of life. What fear of the feminine energy is evident in the masculine in the world.

The Feminine Guarantees Nothing Except the Joy of Being Alive

And as I reflect on my own life, I realise that success for me is about being fearless and about loving and embracing every moment of my life because the feminine in life guarantees nothing. She is moody, destructive and wild. She is nurturing, creative and warm. She is nature. And nature does not wait in an orderly queue before it is given permission to act.  As I allow nature to express itself through me, I’m learning to love my seasons of boundless creativity, deep sadness, passionate love, at times hurt, loss, and at others, inspired work.  There seems a certain essential flow of life that in the past, I would have ignored as I clamoured to be seen as professional or qualified at work, and strict and orderly at home.  I recognise that I can express both masculine and feminine and do have the masculine as part of my value system and in fact, need it to be able to function in our modern world. But now I accept ever more my moods my ups and downs, my seasons. And in doing so, the one thing I express in my work is my feminine power.

When we resist this calling to wisdom that our bodies take us through, we experience symptoms of ‘menopause’: hot flushes, emotional outburst and so on. And believing that we are ill, we go to doctors to impose further masculine directed treatments to inhibit these ‘abnormal’ signs of being an initiated woman. That we have lost touch with ourselves and seek these treatments seems to evidence to me that we have more faith in those masculine directives out there, than in own self knowledge and feminine power.

I’d love to share with you some more insights that I’ve had about how this applies to us as therapists and how we can embrace the feminine in our practices, that is both men and women to create real connection and resonance with those we are treating. I’ll be talking more about woman and her wisdom in my next teleseminar on the 30th October. Join me for the live call by going to my free teleseminar sign up page. The live call is free.  The audio recording will be available in the Mind membership series which costs just £7.

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