Imagine. You’re with a client.  You’ve seen her half a dozen times and suddenly there’s a sense of ‘Oh my God, this client’s getting more and more needy when she’s meant to be getting more and more independent’.  Now is that a hypnotherapist’s nightmare, or what!

Solution focussed interventions such as much hypnotherapy is packaged up to offer, is designed to get in and out fast. Say maximum 12 sessions.  And in some schools of thought, that is also far too long.  Some suggest if it’s not sorted in 2 or 3 sessions said client is not ready for therapy.  Maybe not.  But perhaps said client isn’t ready for your brief solution focussed hypnotherapy  but is more than ready to start to explore issues beyond the presenting problem.  Perhaps your client has, for the first time in their life, confided in someone who they believe will not abandon them.

And then suddenly, you, the hypnotherapist, gets out of your depth.  You wonder how you got to a situation where said client is becoming more and more dependent on you, and in a panic, you contact your supervisor to discuss how to ‘let her go’ nicely.  Your supervisor, as clueless as you, sees that this client is highly dependent and thinks up with you some elaborate ways in which you can extract yourself from the relationship and refer client on.

Now consider. This client, believing you knew what you were doing as a professional, has dared to make a connection with you that they’ve tried to make with others but have failed.  They’ve failed because they got too needy, and those they imposed that drama on, got scared and resentful of the responsibility and abandoned her.  Now she’s just about to confirm to herself, that even her therapist rejects her so there must definitely be something wrong with her.

Of course there’s something wrong with her.  However, no-one yet has had the courage to tell her the effect she has on people, to sit with her while she works it out and attempts to gain some insight into her behaviour, and then is still there when she’s done so.  No-one yet has been prepared to be so gently honest and at the same time encouraging with her.  And no one yet has enabled her to truly grow into her own being and take up residence in her heart.

Do you know how to glide between technique-ing and just sitting with your client?  From doing an ‘intervention’ to actually travelling the journey with her?  Do you know how to learn about your own blocks and difficulties that the client presents you with?  And that if you don’t learn about them, you’ll always meet a block with this kind of client?

You see, your client isn’t talking to you.  Much of what they bring into therapy is about their past experiences. They’re talking to their own ghosts from their past and hoping you’re different but really just creating the same kind of responses in you that they create in others. If you don’t realise that, you actually become just like them.  You behave in an automatic and expected way that has no self awareness in it.  Bring this unconscious dynamic to the attention of your client, and you’ll be half way towards gaining not only your client’s conscious awareness of their behaviour patterns and therefore the ability for them to change them, but also an awareness of your own unresolved prejudices which have been hindering your development as a therapist.  Join me on my membership to discover more how to stay centred and insightful even when your client is losing their head and blaming it all on you. For free trial membership click here.  For Free mentorship meeting in North London click here.  Try working with me.  The point of the freebies is so you can make an informed choice before you invest in your development.

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