This is more than just therapy..

First of all, thanks to those who took me up on my invitation to send me your telephone number for me to call you. I’ve had some fantastic telephone meetings with you and a couple of face to face meetings too. What’s amazing for me is that those that I speak to seem to be looking for someone who can understand and empathise with their quirkiness! I really like that. I’ve written about we ‘loners’ needing to get together and it feels like slowly you’re showing up! (message me below if you still want to make contact).

Out of those discussions with you so much has come up. I often joke that I’m in my ivory tower in my little rural Essex town and I deliberately insulate myself from too much news and media brain washing! As a result I sometimes forget that how I think may not be quite so mainstream as others. So following another inspiring conversation with one of you last night, I’ve written another article below on forgiveness. But before I take you to that let me remind you about Dr Chadha’s day with me in April.

Dr Pradeep Chadha’s Science, Spirituality and Therapy Day

On 20th April we have the distinguished Dr Pradeep Chadha coming to London from Ireland to deliver a one day revelation on his drugless psychiatric work.

The reason I resonate so much with Dr Chadha is because he’s worked it out for himself too. And what drives people like Pradeep to work it out for themselves, is that they feel an empathy for others and

have a deeply seeking spirit. Underpinning that is a knowledge that full physical, mental and emotional health is not only possible but probable if we can understand how people have come to be the way they are and moreover, teach them how to return to their true selves. And we talk of people, not diseases or symptoms.

Click here to register for the day

To understand others you also have to seek deeply into your own life and ask some deeper questions, questions that Pradeep is all too practiced at asking. To him psychiatry poses more questions than it answers. It’s ‘solutions’ are not tackling the human root of the psyche, but instead dabble in superficial brain chemistry. And if that’s all that was really wrong, then drugs would cure. But it isn’t. And they don’t.

Click here to register for the day

Dr Chadha’s story is an inspiration in itself and how he came to conceive of mental and emotional ill health and how to treat it is really quite revolutionary and more so because of his medical background. But I believe Dr Chadha is a healer in the truest sense. Join us on this special day in London on 20th April. So many of you are talking to me about joining us and we’d love to have you with us. And remember, feel free to hit return and ask me any questions you need answering about the event and I’ll see if I can help.

Feedback

Keep your feedback coming. I can’t tell you how valuable it is to know that you are reading, listening and learning something from the energy I put out there. It truly inspires me to keep working for you. Hit return and reply or just fill in a comment form on whichever page on the website inspires you. http://www.theopenmindtherapist.com

Article: How do you forgive?

Forgiveness is one of those heavily loaded christian words that seems to suggest doormat or victim. “Forgive thine enemies” sounds like a mug’s game, doesn’t it!? Why should you? So what on earth does ‘forgiveness’ actually mean? Why should we seek it? And how can you interpret that effectively through a christian or religious filter?

Firstly, a lack of forgiveness causes bitterness and resentment. So if a person is bitter, it’s usually because they’re holding on to the memory or behaviour pattern that was set up by an outside influence. That means they’re holding onto something mentally, emotionally, spiritually and even physically because of the behaviour of someone else. The mind is probably telling them to hold onto it because it believes it can then spot the same behaviour again easily as a form of self protection. Or it may be holding onto it because the child in us still wants to show the world how unfairly treated we were and we wait fruitlessly for someone else to apologise or make it better for us.

However, the more this bitterness or resentment becomes part of who we are the more likely we are to attract the very thing we least want to us. (I’ll talk one day soon about the law of cause and effect). This bitterness is hurting no body except ourselves. It is wearing down our psyche and making us feel worthless and fragile. AND the likelihood is that we’ve been doing it for years: years and years after the initial cause. I speak from personal experience in this. I held onto a deep existential brittleness for many years. It was so part of who I was I didn’t even realise it was holding me hostage. Until my disastrous marriage brought me face to face with my own existential rage. I had to deeply confront it and insodoing, not only liberated myself from a deeply held belief about my self worth, but simultaneously I was free to develop a new way of being that has been nothing short of transformational.

So I often ask the question, who, in our current lives, is causing us harm? You’re right. It’s us. We are doing it by perpetuating the bitterness and resentment that was initially provoked by someone else, potentially years ago.

At that point we have relinquished all control and volition of our own and we are saying we are not in charge of our minds, but that someone else is. And we think hypnosis is worrying! Many people who are stuck like this are already in hypnosis – living a kind of dream.

So forgiveness is in my opinion, less related to someone else, and more related to ourselves. We need to be able to find some peace in our own hearts, stop judging ourselves by other people’s standards, start nurturing the real person we are and establishing some meaningful and respectful boundaries. As Oprah said once, ‘Forgiveness is giving up the hope, that the past could have been any different’.

From a buddhist perspective, if we do not treat ourselves with deep respect we are not honouring the buddha that we are. And from a Christian perspective, God’s work cannot be done through you if you deny yourself the love and respect that is yours. And from a lay person’s perspective, stop beating yourself up and start loving who you are.

Forgiveness has to start with you. It’s useless trying to ‘forgive’ others first. This will lead to frustration and even more bitterness.

In Buddhism we have a term called ‘zange’ (pronounced zangay). This is a deep and soulful realisation of the harm you are doing to yourself and a reverential apology for doing it. On its heels comes the determination to never do that to yourself again. Daily practice can ensure that that becomes a growing reality day by day. In keeping bitterness you remain vulnerable and brittle. In casting it off, there is wisdom and strength.

The end result is? That what was once done to you becomes irrelevant. You won’t forget it, but it will carry no emotional charge. In fact, at that point you can actually find the capacity to ‘love thine enemy’ because invariably, people are blind to the harm they cause. And even if there was an intent to harm, to coin another christian phrase, ‘forgive them for they know not what they do’ – and in seeing it this way, their negative power diminishes and your soft power for yours and others humanity grows.  This is more than just therapy.  This is heart to heart communication. Share this lesson with your clients. It’s relevant to most people at some point on their journey.

Looking forward to much success and renewal in the New Year.

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It’s been such a momentous year this last year.  I feel I’ve crossed over a portal in my work that I can’t and don’t want to return through. I have taken such inspiration from so many amazing people and have felt encouraged to become who I truly am more and more.  It’s a see saw of toe in, toe out when you first realise there’s no one stopping you being you except you.  And the habit can be hard to kick.  And I find myself wavering at times.  You can blame society or the professional ethics, or the models or whatever else you want to lay blame at.  But ultimately you’ve made the decision to limit yourself and be affected by it.  The dilemma has been for me do I dare to really tell you and show you who I am?  That’s the false self telling me I’m not worth it.  Fortunately I’m listening more and more to my inner voice that is telling me to celebrate the best of myself even out there with you guys, and let the faults that I have pale into insignificance.

Thank you to all those brave hearts who have taken part in this amazing year of transformation with me.  Thanks for touching my life and for sharing your brilliance with me so openly.  Thanks to those who resisted taking part because you were really just reflecting my own reticence at ‘coming out’ with my own unique self. I have you to thank for the earlier part of my journey this year.  The resistance was a big wake up call and caused me to deeply reflect on how you might just be a reflection of something I was missing.  When I released the block, you responded amazingly.  Thank you for having faith in me somehow.

I’ve increasingly taken on my true self the second half of this year and it’s quite new, uncharted, and scary at times, and other times it’s absolutely exhilarating.  So many ups and downs and constant polishing of the self.  I so want to inspire you to live this way and to bring your intuition into your practices so that you can be the real mentors that our clients are so desperately in search of.

I’m looking forward to working with Alexia in January who is also sharing a new phase in her life of just saying it as it is, and letting the world know what you stand for.  I am looking forward too to being inspired by her.  And Dr Pradeep Chadha in April.  What amazing feedback we had from our call earlier this year.  Pradeep is coming to London on 20th or is it 21st (I’ll check and will publish his day on this site over christmas) to share with us his unique take on mental health and what really makes people well and happy.  Both of these amazing people are such an inspiration to me.

And I have some really new projects that I’ll be working on this year.  Watch this space.

Thanks to all my Soul members and visitors to the groups this year.  We’ve had a truly revelationary year.  So much transformation in group.  How powerful are groups of people?  I’d love to welcome anyone of you into our groups and pray that you take whatever personal or professional inspiration you are looking for from our members who are each, of themselves, truly characterful, insightful and passionate therapists.  It’s been a pleasure to work with you throughout the year.  Thanks for being part of the journey.

Remember to get yourself some downtime this Christmas and spend some time with your heart and your unconscious.  Listen to your heart’s moods and tune in to who you are and what you’re about.  This is your real treasure – not all that stuff out there that passes as important. It’s from this kernal of innate wisdom that we can transform our lives and our work.  It’s only the illusions that we have believed are real that has stopped us finding our inner wisdom. Once you get beyond the illusions, wisdom, courage and compassion are just waiting to well up and to be expressed in your lives.  Listen to it and make a determination to invigorate and inspire yourselves to your highest good.

Signing off brave hearts!  Have a great rejuvenating Christmas.

 

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What’s sabotaging your practice?

Jenny LynnI was in an inspirational meeting with fellow journeyers in London a few months ago which was looking at how we sabotage ourselves and what kinds of excuses we use to do so.  The litany of excuses and fears that we all contributed to our discussion was really quite amusing.  What was even more amusing was being asked to consider what kind of messages we must have internalised throughout our lives to allow these seeds of sabotage to take root.  Things like “who do you think you are?” or “you’re not clever”, “bright enough”, “pretty/handsome” enough.

It got me thinking about the fears that most of us experience, certainly as a starting-out therapist, but often, after many years in practice too.  And those fears are things like: “Did I push my client hard enough?” “Did I push my client too hard?” “Did I step over the line there by touching their arm, or saying this to them?” “Did I miss something important?” “Are they feeling hostile that I said this or did that?” I shared these insights in my authenticity day just recently – which, if you missed it, you can listen to by joining us on Mind level.  I remember having my fair share of these fears too until an epiphany moment in the first year of my practice: I haven’t been fear-less ever since but things changed for me significantly from that moment.

When I reflected on these fears and where they come from  I realise they are from our ideas of social acceptability and our need for social approval.  We tend to observe certain social games: ie: don’t draw attention to a person’s idiosyncrasies, don’t upset people, don’t step into someone’s space uninvited, don’t bore people with your story, don’t impose yourself on others.  We all know these games of fitting in and need for respectability really well.
What are our professional ethics
How are you sabotaging your therapy practice?If we were to write a set of professional ethics based on these social fears, what would we write?  Think about it.  Would we say, it’s unprofessional to self disclose, or that it’s unprofessional to touch your client?  Would we say it’s unprofessional to push your client too hard and you need to respect your client’s uncertainty on their journey? 

Now I don’t wish to throw the metaphorical baby out with the bath water. Professional ethics of some description are a useful guide. I merely ask you to reflect on which part of the professional ethics you have internalised that may be actually sabotaging your practice.  Which part of your internalised idea of professionalism are you crucifying yourself with?   Because it could be those internalised ideas you have of what you think being professional is that is stopping you being authentic, stopping you making human contact with your clients, stopping you accepting that you’re already doing a great job, and ultimately stopping you from having a full and thriving practice.  

Join me on Mind to listen to the Authenticity Day audio which seeks to dispel the fear of being our authentic selves in our therapy practice and get also 36 hours of practice supporting audio to inspire you. http://theopenmindtherapist.com/events/authenticity-workshop/  And remember, future discovery days are discounted from £97 to £67 for members of Mind and Heart. Soul members go free.

What’s your experience?

Well, did you do it?  Did you make a note of all the things you’ve learned in life that help you directly with your work?  Did you ask your friends and colleagues to tell you what they think of you? (Yikes!)  Do share. I really want to know.  I’ve put this last email up in my blog section on http: so feel free to leave your comment below.http://theopenmindtherapist.com/2012/11/28/are-you-using-your-experience-of-life/

I met Alexia in London Yesterday

I met with Alexia Leachman on Wednesday in London which was absolutely lovely. We’d met on the phone of course and on our call, so it was lovely to see and feel the energy of the person I’ve come to know only over the wire.  She’s bold about her beliefs, comfortable in her skin, authentic and real in her message.  We resonate quite strongly and I’m really looking forward to working with her in our Discovery day in January.  For more details go to http://www.theopenmindtherapist.com/events/ and join us.Starting out in practice audio masterclass

The number of people who I seem to be speaking to at the moment who are just new in practice and they’re falling foul of all the regular advertising scams that promise you the world and deliver nothing.  With this in mind I’m thinking of doing a 90 minute audio masterclass in setting up in practice: the do’s and the don’ts.  Interested?  It’ll be sometime before christmas.  I’ll look in the diary and let you know.  Just fire me off an email saying “Yes please to Starting out in practice audio masterclass” and I’ll know you’re interested.
But remember: MAKE YOUR LIFE HAPPEN! Don’t wait any longer for someone to deliver a truth to you. You have to seek it out. 
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Are you using your experience of life?

What’s your experience?

You know, we’ve all had life experiences, haven’t we? I often look back and wonder how I ever got through what I got through! Do you know that feeling? How did I get to be 40 something and still have a sense of humour? My daughter says I’m hard as nails but somewhere underneath there’s a little bit of softness! She says that because of times for example, when my friends have jokingly (I hope) texted me: “Jenny, you’re a weirdo!” and it makes me titter or because of times when I don’t show much social grace with people I have no time for! She literally curls up in a mixture of admiration and embarrassment sometimes at my cavalier audacity.

There’s no doubting though that life knocks the rough edges off you and if you learn the lessons you were sent here to learn, you become more and more adept at understanding the broader human condition. Just as much as I can feel sorry for myself at times, I can also feel huge; massive actually. I can feel like I have an insight that has only come about because of my experience in life. Had I not had the schizophrenia, the near death experience at the birth of my daughter, the messy divorce, the career changes, the heart breaks and the highs and lows of life, how on earth could I be qualified to do what I do?

So today I want to encourage you to discover the value of your experiences. Write them down and describe all of the things you’ve learned that help you directly with your work. Text your friends and colleagues and ask them to tell you what’s special about you. Do it today. Tell them it’s an exercise you’re doing for your work! And let me know how you got on with it. I’ll remind you Thursday evening by email and I’d love to hear some of your stories.

Mind Level Subscription

Wow! When you get out of your own way it’s amazing what happens! Thanks to all of you who have subscribed to my Mind Level. And just to recap what is on Mind: all of our past teleseminar guests audios are in there plus all of my counselling skills, psychotherapy and buddhist audios over the last nearly 2 years! One of my Soul members said a few months ago that she sat down and made a concerted effort to listen to them all within a week or two’s time frame and she said she felt so much lighter and happier. I think there’s no doubt, when you hear other people describing the life of the therapist, it is incredibly comforting and reassuring. And remember, that Mind members can get all my Discovery days: including Alexia Leachman’s – Using your story to market your therapy practice – on January 26th for just £67. Tell your colleagues. I hope to be meeting her this Wednesday for a prelim in London. She inspires me and I want her to share her knowledge with you on this special day.  Click here to find out more.

(Last January I went on a “Mindfulness in therapy” day in London which was the biggest waste of £140 I’ve yet made in doing CPD. I don’t mean to sound dismissive, but it was a bit like asking Jenson Button to test drive a noddy car! – still I learned what passes for Mindfulness in a CBT style training and at least I can say I already practice it only more spontaneously and authentically.)

So please join me and subscribe to my Mind level at just £7 to get nearly 40 hours of audio which will challenge you and cause you to ask deeper questions of yourselves. You see, together we are stronger than if we stand alone. And my vision is to have Open Mind Therapists (that isn’t trade marked by the way!) all over the country who get what it means to be their own mentor and example to all the clients they meet. Click here to find out more about Mind

This Friday’s meeting in London

As usual our Soul Group meets this Friday in the Millfield Arts Centre, Edmonton this Friday 30th November. It’s our last meeting before Christmas so I’d love to see you there 10 till 3pm. I’ll need to remind you all direct who have said they are coming and round you up! Regardless how busy you are, you’ll learn to value the time out and get as much out of it as you can in terms of support, camraderie, and guidance. I’m here to share what I’ve learned in life, to encourage you to share your learning too and to show you some new things you may not yet have in your repertoire. Click here to book on.

7th December meeting in Great Dunmow – have you been a member before?

We’ll be meeting in Dunmow again on 7th December and we’ll be having our usual christmas lunch out somewhere. If you’ve been a member before, why not join us for lunch? Email me and I’ll let you know details.
Next year we have changed venue again to the Maltings in Great Dunmow which is a beautiful grade II listed building right in the centre of town. And along with this change of venue is a change of time: We’ll be starting at 12 and finishing at 5pm. If you’re running a busy practice already, you may benefit from a couple of hours client work in the morning before you set off for the meeting….and remember, it’s a much more respectable time to go out for a drink after the group!

Starting out in practice audio masterclass

The number of people who I seem to be speaking to at the moment who are just new in practice and they’re falling foul of all the regular advertising scams that promise you the world and deliver nothing. With this in mind I’m thinking of doing a 90 minute audio masterclass in setting up in practice: the do’s and the don’ts. Interested? It’ll be sometime before christmas. I’ll look in the diary and let you know. Just fire me off an email saying “Yes please to Starting out in practice audio masterclass” and I’ll know you’re interested.

But remember: MAKE YOUR LIFE HAPPEN! Don’t wait any longer for someone to deliver a truth to you. You have to seek it out.
Jenny
To try one of our groups click here.
Jenny has been working as an Integrative Hypnotherapist/psychotherapist for 11 years and has practiced Buddhism for most of her life and is also a Fellow of the National Council of Psychotherapists. After many years of teaching her various courses on integrative therapy for hypnotherapists, which included the now well known course, Unlocking the Mysteries of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, she is now focussing on the personal and authentic journey of the therapist from all talk modalities. She aims to teach life lessons in intuition, insight, and authenticity for those who are ready to take their work to the next level and demonstrate as well as counsel others, what it is to show up in the world and take charge of your life.

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I’ve been contributing to a discussion on a forum I’m part of : Schizophrenia: causes and treatment, and today I just had to share the following.  It is what I teach in my authenticity programme and what comes up for discussion generally in the groups that I run.

Masculine and Feminine

Masculine and Feminine Balance

I realise as I look around and try and find some ‘real’ people that the world generally has become very outside referenced, very directional, analytical, superficial, external, competitive, animalistic ie: masculine while the other half of humanity, the sensing, intuitive, the creative, the vulnerable, the moody (as are the seasons) ie; the feminine has become deeply devalued.  I was talking about this just last Friday on my authenticity training day.  How do we learn to trust this deeper intuition?  Externally referenced ways of working are constantly looking for social proof and social approval, whereas the intuitive way of working doesn’t need it.  Sadly though, it also therefore, doesn’t gain much cudos or credibility in this external world we live in.  My mission is to pull together those that work authentically and intuitively, or who suspect that this is really where it’s happening, so that we too can contribute meaningfully to social interpretation of ‘reality’.  Quite difficult to market because essentially, we are simply saying we’re fine as we are.  We don’t need extra knobs and whistles to make us into something.  All we need to do is explore our deeper selves and actualise our realisations.  This transformation itself causes others to transform. (Richard Rohr – Adam’s Return).

One thing that strikes me is that our reality is dictated by our own thoughts and experiences.  Bruce Lipton and Rupert Sheldrake discuss this beautifully in this video, which if you get an hour or so to look at is well worth it.

They discuss the nature of consciousness and debate how the materialist view tries to look for the objective reality in the world, without realising that they are deeply influencing how they experience that by their line of enquiry. I remember an old adage that I occasionally incorporate into my teachings: “change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change”.  Traditional approaches to mental ill health make a range of assumptions from: it’s untreatable, you’ll have it for the rest of your life, without drugs you’ll relapse, to,  you just have to work through the worst of it and accept you’ll always have the tendency, and even that it’s a genetic inheritance that you’ll just have to put up with. If we come at mental health cases with this attitude then, guess what, that’ll be what happens.  Put a few hundred thousand health care professionals together who believe the same story and you’ll create a reality that, for those at the point when they are the most vulnerable in their lives because of a personal or indeed spiritual crisis, is very difficult if not impossible to escape. The experimenter effect here is happening on a world scale and the experimenters are still not aware of it!

Inner Conflict

The mental cost of conformity

Bruce Lipton and Rupert Sheldrake both advocate that the genetic argument is dead in the water.  And the reason they argue that is because their observations are different.  They observe how genetically identical material can have vastly different expressions and that the gene is just responding to the environment it finds itself in. If that is so, reality is up for grabs! Whatever reality we want to believe in will work for us.  So why don’t we believe in a reality that proposes hope?  Why don’t we believe in a reality that understands that we can heal and become well without drugs?  Probably because health care professionals haven’t experienced hope and faith in themselves as being able to find their own peace, let alone the poor patients they work with.  They do not know how to overcome their own fears and anxieties.  They do not know how to talk to themselves kindly and approvingly.  Because being externally referenced, and seeking social proof and approval outside somewhere, leaves the idea of going inside as the last thing that ‘feels’ right for them.  What feels right is the need to gain academic recognition and be part of the club.  What feels right is to talk the ‘lingo’ and join the never ending debate on whether human beings, who were born completely well, have the capacity as adults to regain their health without drugs.  This intellectualism is safe.  It provides identity and belonging on an external level, regardless of who they are on a human level.  And this disregarding of their own personal stories and experiences is what causes burnout.  This need to tether, harness and sublimate our internal realities in order to conform with some external idea of how it should be creates internal dissonance and is exhausting at the very least.

Healing is possible for all

I believe profoundly in our ability to make a full recovery from mental and indeed physical illness.  And I believe that because I have experienced both.  If I have experienced it, then I know it is possible.  When I know it is possible I make it more probable.  I understand our deeper conflicts and what causes people to wake up.  And my clients get well, not through years and years of working it our with their heads, but by experiencing how it feels to really get it with their hearts. And they are able to experience that more because energetically I give them permission to, merely by the fact that they witness someone who knows how they really feel deep inside.  My transformation causes their transformation.

If this were the collective attitude we approached serious mental health issues with, I wonder how our treatment models would reflect that?

If we are not working on our own personal realities and our own transformations, we are conning not only our patients/clients but also ourselves.  If we are not doing this, we are merely paying academic lip service to what we think some external, objective reality is about.  We cannot evidence any of it effectively.  And to then maintain that our reality is everyone else’s is a profoundly abusive approach to the most vulnerable people in our society.

If you resonate with this and would like to work with your guts more (intuitively) instead of your head (techniques or protocols) consider joining one of my mentorship groups.  There’s one in Edmonton, London and Great Dunmow, Essex.  You’ll find more about them on the home page.

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Are you still struggling?

Greg Forde and Jenny Lynn

Two loners together!

Greg Forde, of the Atkinson Ball College and myself are kindred souls. And what makes us similar, is that we have learned to trust no one. As Greg said, Jenny, you’re like me. We get hold of something, shake it around a bit to see what’s loose about it and see how it works before we’ll accept it.” And with that we laughed and realised how similar our outlooks are. But one thing’s for sure – we’re loners. We like our solitude. Greg doesn’t even own a TV and if it weren’t for my daughter, neither would I. I find modern culture illusory and ephemeral, masquerading as important while all the deeper human truths are overlooked.

It’s taken years of questioning to come back to the simple truths in life which are in fact, more universal than you could ever imagine. The last thing I want to do now, is pollute that clarity with more nonsense that is promulgated by the media telling me I need to buy more things to be happy, more services that are pointless, more techniques that don’t work, more unwholesome foods and pseudo drugs that harm my body and mind and telling me that I need more money than I can possibly use sensibly.

I for one, learned to distrust from an early age. I questioned everything. That questioning took me into some blind alleys and dead ends because while I was looking for the answers out there, I was missing the essential truth that had always resided in me. Until that is I eventually learned to listen to myself for answers, deeply: to practise going inside and facing my fears, facing my heart’s pain, and transforming it into freedom and wellbeing. But it’s most definitely made me a loner. And it’s the same journey, barring the details, that Greg’s been on too.
I commented to him, “You know, Greg, people like us are loners and if we don’t learn to team up, and work together, what we know will just disappear quietly away”.

So we’ve decided, somehow in the new year, Greg’s going to co-present with me one of my Discovery days. We kicked around a few ideas and one that came up big style was:

HOW TO STOP STRUGGLING!

Now THAT would be something to communicate to ALL our fellow therapists. We want to inspire you to change the way you feel about yourself and how you perceive your work, so that you can more calmly and effectively help other people, or even your clients, feel different about themselves.

I’ll tell you more about it when we’ve firmed up the details.

Meanwhile, get a head start on November 2nd

My next Discovery Day is on 2nd November and we’ll be looking at how to become more authentic in our personal and professional lives. Do you have the date in your diary? Better still, have you booked yourself on yet? There’s just a few weeks to go before the day and, if you’re not already a member, all my super low cost places have gone. But you can still book yourself in for just £57 for the day. If you’re a member, log in and book yourself in on the payment tab for just £37.

And remember, if you’re not a member, Mind membership is now just £7. As a member, you pay only £37 for the Discovery day so it may well be worth subscribing and getting all the audios included on this level, including the audio recordings from the 2nd November Discovery day.

MAKE YOUR LIFE HAPPEN! Don’t wait any longer for someone to deliver a truth to you. You have to seek it out. You have to engage with the process. Book yourself on and start opening up your heart and energy to other people who are on the same journey that you’re on and realise how much strength there is when we develop together. Where you lead, your clients will follow. You owe it to your clients to stay one step ahead of the game, keep your insight fresh and energised, your heart and soul light and open. Join me by clicking here or go to http://www.theopenmindtherapist.com/events/

If you want a bit of a taster for the style of the days the latest audio teleseminar is still sat on the site if you’ve still yet to listen to it. Just click here or go to,
http://theopenmindtherapist.com/free-stuff/teleseminars/ and subscribe to the latest audio.

I would love to receive your feedback on the call. One listener mailed me and said:

“You raised some contentious issues like daring to share and inspiring the client. I believe that when you know the sharing will benefit the client and it comes from the heart it’s ok, though there are so many therapists out there too scared to do it because their training said not.”

Yet another said:

“Was also encouraged to hear that we can change our karma and not only that, but in transforming ourselves, we can help transform others…absolutely beautifully inspired :).”

I’d love to hear your comments. There is a comments box on the replay page. Please feel free to contribute your views. And Join me on 2nd November!

Jenny

To book onto the authenticity Discovery Day click here or go to: http://www.theopenmindtherapist.com/events/

Jenny has been working as an Integrative Hypnotherapist/psychotherapist for 11 years and has practiced Buddhism for most of her life and is also a Fellow of the National Council of Psychotherapists. After many years of teaching her various courses on integrative therapy for hypnotherapists, which included the now well known course, Unlocking the Mysteries of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, she is now focussing on the personal and authentic journey of the therapist from all talk modalities. She aims to teach life lessons in intuition, insight, and authenticity for those who are ready to take their work to the next level and demonstrate as well as counsel others, what it is to show up in the world and take charge of your life.

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Broadening your therapeutic horizons

You know that I’ve been going through a whole business re-evaluation this summer and it’s really been a huge weight off my shoulders.
Over the last 18 months, I’ve been diligently recording monthly audio teleseminars for a small but select group of Mind level members, (as well as Heart and Soul members) whom I thank.  The aim of the audio lectures I have been giving is to offer a service that broadens our skill set, knowledge and self awareness when it comes to delivering effective and meaningful therapy to our clients.  See http://www.theopenmindtherapist.com/membership/mind/ for more information.
Alongside those audios, I’ve also been interviewing some amazing experts in their respective fields, Matt Sison, Jack Elias, Jure Biechonski, Dr Pradeep Chadha, as well as Rupert Sheldrake about his book ‘The Science Delusion’ which was a real privilege. I can’t even begin to mention them all here but their inspiration to me and time they have given to me to help me inspire you has been phenomenal. (See here if you want to check out all their names).  Each one has brought some form of expertise to help us in our practices as therapists and I’m deeply grateful to them.
So I had to consider what I’m really doing in this business and what my motivation is to record all these audios.  Was I in this to make money or was I in this to help inspire and develop therapists?
The making money felt like my false self, whereas the helping inspire and develop therapists was more my true self.  But the one was bleeding into the other and marring everything I was trying to achieve with my business. I felt inauthentic. I felt, though everyone was telling me how valuable these lessons were, I couldn’t bring myself to feel comfortable with charging £23 a month for them.  And in the last few weeks I’ve realised, I’d rather have 3 of you on the service at just £7 per month than 1 at £23 per month. Call it madness, or call it really realising what these lessons are worth. In human terms they are incredibly valuable and I want more and more people to be inspired and to grow from them.
That is where the value is for me.  I know, the more I allow myself to get excited by and enjoy the real human value of this service, then that will be reflected in the financial value.  In Buddhism we call it the law of cause and effect.  In more common and popular parlance it’s the law of attraction.  Bring yourself into alignment with your true mission and purpose and you will attract to you everything you need to continue to grow that mission and purpose.
This autumn, I’ll also be adding as much audio as I can from my live training days so that you can get to listen to content of these discovery days.
There’s a new video up on the Mind membership page so take a look.   Meanwhile, here’s to your continued success!
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Changing Karma and becoming Authentic as a Therapist

Coming home to me
Remember I said last time I’ve been practising Buddhism all these years, overcoming all kinds of challenges and impasses?  Well, while I’ve been busily teaching my unique personal lessons in psychotherapy and hypnotherapy, there’s been one massive area of my life I’ve overlooked.  And that is my own buddhist journey over nearly 30 years.
 
I’m almost embarrassed to write to you to admit this.  The one thing that I’ve used that has kept me centred, like my own personal tiller, has been my daily practice of ‘coming home’ to me. 
 
Transforming life’s inevitable pain into valuable lessons
I’ve learned over the years how to take the pain of my challenges right into my heart, feel them, live them, then transform them into useable lessons for myself and others.  Let me just give you one example.
 
About a year after moving into my little house in Dunmow, I made a determination one new year to become ‘absolutely happy’.  Now that isn’t a naive aspiration.  In buddhism, being ‘absolutely happy’ does not mean I’ll never have any challenges again.  It just means I’ll have faith deep enough to know I can deal with all things and produce a positive outcome for myself and others.  So I chanted to be absolutely happy.
 
What is real Happiness?
As I did, all the things that were creating unhappiness came into sharp focus. There were lots of things that needed to change.  I felt burdened by my relationship, though I couldn’t say that anything was particularly wrong, except I wasn’t happy.  I felt burdened by my work and home not being all in one place anymore which was a complication I could have done without being alone with my 10 year old daughter.  These were just a few of the superficial effects of me not trusting that I could really take control of my life and make it as I wanted it.  So I sat with the discomfort of realising that taking charge of my life meant then I had to address certain elements that were not working for me.  I went into a period of quiet and reflective meditation.  If I had no blocks to being truly me, what would my life look like?  It was scary, depressing, and slightly exciting to imagine.  But I worked and waded through it and by the August everything had dramatically changed.
 
And that is also the process I’ve come through this summer.  There had to be another way to fully express me to the people I really wanted to attract to me.  And I realised that my authenticity in my marketing message had to be absolutely central.  No more sound bites from other people offering their latest marketing initiative.  It had to be about me showing you who I really am: scary, depressing and becoming more exciting by the minute!
 
How can you benefit? And how can you pass these lessons onto your clients?
The response to last week’s emails and blogs has been absolutely phenomenal.  I’ve had people contact me I’ve not seen for years, people subscribe to the courses weeks in advance, people leave testimonials, and more and more interest about my work now than ever before!  Thank you. Last Friday at my Dunmow Soul Group meeting I taught directly a process I use every time I arrive at another layer I need to peel off to being authentically me.  It was liberating to show them the process and to see how much they got from it.  And they can use that directly with their clients this week.
 
If you’re ready to get underneath your next layer of awareness and learn how to transmit your learning to your clients, then please join me.
 
Changing Karma is our challenge to being authentic
Tomorrow (19th September) at 3pm BST I’ll be talking about How we change our Karma, even, what Karma is, and how that brings us to our own authenticity.  It’s broadly the theme we’ll be working with on both of my autumn Discovery Days on 28th September and 2nd November (book yourself in on at www.theopenmindtherapist.com/events/).  Becoming truly you and attracting to you the good fortune you really deserve is our focus.  I’ll share with you tomorrow, the lessons I’ve learned over many years of buddhist practice about peeling off the layers and revealing more and more of your authentic selves. And as you reveal your humanity then you will reach your clients at an energetic level that is in itself, transformative. 
The dial in details are:
 

From the UK: 0844 473 0533 –  PIN 118972
If you’re dialling from abroad or from skype, leave me a comment below and I may
be able to give you a local number to dial in from.
 
And go to my video blog to hear a bit more about it.
Thanks again.  Look forward to having you on the call tomorrow.  Make sure you put it in your diaries and join me just a couple of minutes before we start to make sure you get to listen to all of it.
 
To read more about the Discovery Days go to www.theopenmindtherapist.com/events/
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How I did my personal development this summer

                                                      

Sharing our mission and purpose as a therapist
One of my biggest lessons this summer has been to realise what really motivates me, and I can tell you, it is simply not money.  My business coach was floored when I said I couldn’t work with a money target in mind.  What else, then, was there to aim for?
So as you probably know if you’ve seen my latest video blog , I set about asking myself ‘why’: if not for money then why was I doing all this?  I got my answer which I explain below, but it didn’t fit neatly into all those sound bites that you hear on the internet, “a mouse click away from $1000”, or “simple changes to your site can double your income” – and one comment in particular that resonated in my head over and over came from one of these books on ‘getting rich quick’ that I’d tried to wade through earlier in the year.  I read that those people who say that they’re not motivated by money are people who haven’t got any to shout about!  Well, they’re right there!  And for a while, I let a fear nestle inside me that this particular commentator had ‘seen straight through me’.  Was I just making excuses to myself? 
 
What really motivates most therapists?

It’s an interesting thought that in the therapy industry in particular, money is generally not a huge motivator to working.  Of course, we all want to earn a living, and in particular, not have to worry about whether we’ll have clients next month or not, but money generally speaking, is a welcome and if not even, an essential by-product of our expertise but not our primary motivator.

According to Daniel Pink, author of ‘Drive’, the trend of current investigations into what motivates people to work, demonstrates that people in our industry, in particular, are more likely to have an intrinsic motivation to wanting to work that is based upon our personal values and ethics, our sense of mission, and our desire to live out our life’s purpose

Valuing our own journey
Which is where my own realisation has been leading me. Through all the courses and all my activities to educate and support my fellow therapists over the years, I’d struggled inherently with my own self worth and, at times, how that equated with money.  The fact that when students arrived and had a phenomenal learning experience and then went on to demand more from me never seemed to really translate into my own inner peace with what I was teaching.  I really have felt in so many ways, that everything I have taught has been taught before, (was therefore not original or ‘valuable’) and, unless I made it extra special, I was in danger of just regurgitating other people’s ‘stuff’.  This deeper fear has caused me to put my heart and soul into my work to make sure that students and colleagues get a first class training, supervision or learning experience.  And the majority have given absolutely amazing feedback. And yet, really coming out and teaching my own personal lessons in life has been a huge block: How could my experiences and my personal processes be valuable?  And yet, it was largely only the element of personal experiences, perspective and processes that I shared through my courses that made the lessons valuable.  It was a paradox I was just too close to, to be able to tease apart the essential lesson from.
 
Becoming authentic needs self acceptance
So where does that lead me now? Though my integrity in my courses and classes is evident regardless of its content, I saw this summer, that I’ve even more to teach that I didn’t realise.  It HAS all been taught by other people before.  That is almost an inescapable truth.  But now I feel I’m sharing my deeper experience of transformation and growth that, to some of you, will be absolutely vital to where you are now on your journey to becoming authentic.  As it’s my personal growth experience I want to share, I’ve decided to accept exactly where I am and how I got here, precisely so that I can share the milestones in my journey with you.   In sharing my journey, in allowing you to see my vulnerability, I’m realising what is of real worth and value is our common humanity and how we can support each other to more and more awakening and authenticity, not just for our clients, though that’s an important and significant by-product, but because we must walk our talk and learn too to find the self acceptance, peace of mind and a sense of belonging that we encourage our clients to live.  And I would love to be part of the next stage in your journey.

Please join me on 28th September or 2nd November for one of my Discovery Days fortherapists, counsellors, hypnotherapists, psychologists and psychiatrists ondeveloping your authenticity as a therapist and we will explore our own hearts, minds and souls.  Most of what you learn you will be able to translate to your client/patient work so bring your sense of adventure with you and your Open Mind so you can absorb as much as possible from the day to pass on.  I have some exercises I have quietly developed as an adjunct to my Buddhist practice that I realise I use all the time to get me past my blocks, and I’ve been using them big time this summer.  I’ll also share with you how this very process can turn around even physical issues as it did with me last autumn.  I’ll also be sharing the wise words of some extremely enlightened authors whose insightful books promote and encourage healing at much deeper levels.

If you’re a Soul Member, this course is included in your subscription.  In other words, you pay nothing extra for the course.  You decide if you want to learn, assist or even co present.  I’m happy to discuss that with you.

If you’re one of the first few to subscribe, then you may be in time to get one of the 4 places for only £37.  The rest to 12 are at £57.  Heart and Soul members can sign up for £37.  Just email me and let me know.

Looking forward to working with a great group of people.  Details and booking are all onhttp://www.theopenmindtherapist.com/events

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Authentically me?

I’ve been quietly reflecting in my little house in Essex bemoaning the fact that I haven’t yet delivered the goods for my business coach, that I haven’t yet got on top of all that really needs to be done to expand the business and all the while, I have ringing in my ears, words from my closest followers saying:

“Jenny, you really should be more successful than you are!”.

What actually does that mean? What does it mean to be successful? This is what I’ve been in a practically meditative state for the last 6 weeks about and slowly the inner story is unravelling.

And allow me a diversion: it was all summarised in a phone call I had with one of my Soul Group Members who, when I said I really wasn’t a vegetarian, laughed and retorted wryly: “To be honest, when I saw you tucking into a ham salad at Group the other week, I thought to myself, ‘isn’t Jenny a vegetarian?’ We laughed and I quizzed why the hell everyone I damn well meet thinks I must be a vegetarian! I just didn’t and really, to be honest, still don’t understand how I project that kind of energy. All I know is that I do. Mix that with another ‘accusation’ that often comes my way: “Jenny, you are very spirtiual.” and here we have my conundrum.

How can I be successful at anything, if something that is essential to who I am, the very energy I give out, I’m not appreciating or using? And I realise as a result of this that I’ve been living certain aspects of my business from the outside in: let me explain.

When I went into business around 11 years ago, I’d had an epiphany towards the end of my training which meant I lost my fear of almost everything and just went at my new business with a level of faith that all would be fine.  I could see into the lives of my clients with a penetrating clarity, I could see them underneath all the rubbish they believed about themselves, and I worked heart felt to show them who they really were.  The only reason I could do this was because I’d seen and perceived myself underneath everything I used to think I was, and realised I was just human and nothing extraordinary – certainly not the ugly or fraudulent person that many of us think we are.  However, what I didn’t realise was that the ability to see that clearly, was indeed extraordinary.  While the initial epiphany created an almost zen like inner calm, after a few years, it established itself as just my base level of insight.  I didn’t have to work at it.  It just was how I had become.

It sounds as I write, like it was created by some meditative or spiritual state from which I emerged renewed.  But in fact, it came from some of my life’s greatest sufferings and torments.  I was sick of the way I was.  I was sick of the complaint, the helplessness, the sadness and the anger and I decided I would do what it took to change the way I perceived myself and my environment.  As I was ready for the change, the opportunity for change materialised in my environment.  It was a simple future progression, conducted by an inexperienced therapist on my second year of training that gave me that opportunity.  To this day, she probably doesn’t realise that that was the start of a new me.

I saw myself in that session in a future life completely calm and composed.  From that perspective, everything I used to feel just seemed small and ridiculous and I really had no need to keep reliving those dramas every day.  The insight profoundly changed the way I felt about people, my family, my work and my life.  From my future perspective, I realised I already had the capacity within me to see clearly and to not be tarnished by the living ghosts of my past, which I could now simply drop.  There was a deep sense of sadness at how I hadn’t honoured myself properly in the past, and a determination to stay absolutely central to my life and my life’s purpose.  In Buddhism we call this insight ‘zange’ which loosely translates as an ‘apology’. I was still aware of my programming: I could see it, like a film and yet still profoundly appreciate the deeper aspect of who I was.

These are my gifts.  These are things I am really good at.  However, despite that fact, I was still aware that my work would be better valued and validated by doctors, psychiatrists and the world of psychotherapy, if I didn’t advertise the whole ‘spiritual’ or ‘experiential’ nature of my work.  While I use the term ‘spiritual’ at times, I’m always careful to define it so that I don’t attract the new age, spiritual movement which can often, leave me feeling quite cold, especially when I meet people who I can sense are living from the outside in.  By that I mean people who use jargon that demonstrates they belong to that club, but not really understanding what those terms really mean to them, let alone what they mean to others.  I’m also a vehement anti buddhist jargonist, much to my fellow buddhists’ dismay at times, as I find real meaning gets lost in words and concepts that are way too high brow, learned or ‘out there’ to be relevant ‘in here’.

Spirituality for me, I have learned is really quite mundane. It’s all about just knowing and feeling life without interpreting it through other people’s words or other people’s conceptual filters.  It’s about being authentic and living in the here and now and having a curiosity and love for life that makes each day a beautiful new awakening.  And yet, here am I, anxious about being that whole person among my larger peer group.  Worried about not fitting in, or not being taken seriously…..the origin of which stems back to the unique circumstances of my childhood, my family and the mores of our culture.  Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, methinks!

So this is where I realised slowly over the last 6 weeks, I’ve been living from the outside in when it comes to my business.  And that’s because I need to confront my fear of being fully known for who I really am.  My intimates, some of my treasured colleagues and supervisees, get the full picture.  But when it comes to being me out there, I’ve been hiding.

As I’m writing I’m feeling a clarity I haven’t felt for some time.  I’m feeling a certainty at my core that this is what I need to do now.  You’ll hear more about my journey and how I’ve come to use my unique personal experience in my therapy career: my goal being to show you how to realise the value of YOUR experiences and how to value you.  The strap line on my site says, ‘Realising your true value’.  That’s what I promised to do when I set out in this training and supervision business.  And it’s something I want to share with you.

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